I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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