I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize