covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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