Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
