Where is the hickey?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
