actually, I'm a sock model
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
