Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
