Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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