Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
