just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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