I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
