She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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