you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I checked into jail on foursquare
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
