..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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