You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
