I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
