direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
