He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize