"it" just moved
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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