i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
