how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
