oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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