How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
