I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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