You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
