question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize