Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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