I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
The uberlube is also flammable
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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