Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
