I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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