He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
