During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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