how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm too high and old for this...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
