I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
