I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
