im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
