I'm gonna have a badass scar
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
