I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
