id be glad to
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
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