I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹ï¸
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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