if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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