It's Friday. Sex?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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