She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
