my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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