i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am one with the molecules
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
