I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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