Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
