idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize