it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
