plz talk dirty to me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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