You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
