is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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