Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
