Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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