At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
nutella sex= disaster
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
