Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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