is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it because I queefed?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
