Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
