why didn't you poke me back
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
jump out the window naked night went bad
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