Jerry, you need to find god
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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