what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
