I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
